In only 11 days the Age of Obamius begins. Oprah will be slim, The New York Times will be renamed The New Bama Testamant, no team in professional football will be permitted to lose.
- Both the president-elect and vice-president-elect were seen actively preparing for their new roles. The president-elect received an intelligence briefing. The vice-president-elect finished shorthand class.
- The Obama transition team established three standards for a new pick for secretary of Commerce - successful businessperson, not wiped out in the recent stock market dive, and not under indictment. It will interview the two candidates today.
- Hillary Clinton renamed the personal plane of the secretary of State "Air Force Should Have Been." She said women would understand.
- The president-elect struggled to establish the right mood with his upcoming inaugural address. He is considering delivering the speech in Aramaic, and then turning high-octane gasoline into hydrogen.
- Code Pink has been appointed Official Disrupter of the inauguration, and will be given two minutes to spray fake blood on Leon Panetta.
- The incoming president has finally selected the desk he will use in the Oval Office. By tradition, a president picks the desk of someone else who's been elected president. Under pressure from his party, Obama chose the desk of Al Gore.
January 9, 2009.